Belgian GP: Red Bull Friday report

They're the quickest, best-looking, most aggressive competitors in the paddock... No, not the drivers, we're talking about the WAGs (wives and girlfriends). They've taken over football and they're coming to Formula One. So what would happen... IF ...

They're the quickest, best-looking, most aggressive competitors in the paddock... No, not the drivers, we're talking about the WAGs (wives and girlfriends). They've taken over football and they're coming to Formula One. So what would happen...

IF F1 WAS RULED BY... THE WAGS

1. What's with all these races in places no-one has ever heard of? Are you all mad? No more forests, no more deserts and no more bloody rain! New rules: Grand Prix of the Champs Elysees, Grand Prix of Rodeo Drive, Grand Prix of Grand Cayman. That's more like it.
2. And how about shortening the races a little. Do you have any idea how much these Louboutin heels hurt? And, no I don't want to sit on one of those plastic chairs in the garage. How the hell would the camera find me if I was sitting down?
3. In future drivers and driver managers will have absolutely nothing to do with contract negotiations. We'll look after organising the Swiss chalet, mega yacht and private jet, thank you very much.
4. When a pitlane reporter approaches a WAG, he is permitted to ask one question about the driver she is currently seeing. Thereafter the only topics of conversation will be about: a) her new single b) her new lingerie collection c) her new TV contract.
5. Each WAG will be guaranteed at least five minutes of camera time during each race. This will take the form of close-ups of us a) nervously biting lip, b) chatting amiably with Eric Clapton, David Beckham, Luca Di Montezemolo or similar, c) clapping hands and shedding a tear of joy when our driver wins.
6. No driver will be allowed to leave a WAG with anyone who's not, like, a celebrity. And no, the fact that that YouTube clip from that club in Budapest has 50,000 hits does not mean your mate Big Dave is famous.
7. If there's going to be a grid walk TV preview, then there sure as hell better be a paddock one too. I've been given eight outfits to wear here and every damn one of them is getting airtime.

Car 5 SEBASTIAN VETTEL
1st Practice P4, 2nd Practice P6

"It's always tricky with these conditions, track time is limited and tyres are limited. We would love to run more despite the rain, but we don't have so many tyres and looking at the weekend we might need them for qualifying and the race, so we didn't want to use them all today. We were looking at the balance, it feels good, but it's hard when the conditions are changing. We still have some work to do for Saturday and Sunday."

Car 6 MARK WEBBER
1st Practice P7, 2nd Practice P18

"Today was a bit of a messy day with the changing conditions, but it was actually pretty good for us. We got some good information to go through and I'm looking forward to tomorrow. There are a few quick guys out there, but we're not slow either. It's hard to get a feel for what everyone's doing with the changing weather. It's a beautiful track here, it's special -- today we got to sample it in all conditions."